WITH EVERY BAD THERE'S 100 GOODS

I woke up this morning with you on my mind. As I opened my eyes, I stretched and turned to see you, however, there was no you.....your side of the bed left empty. A twing of sadness slowly crept up...then I heard the birds singing their joyful good morning chirps. I smiled and got out of bed.

Promptly at 5 a.m. my driver was in front of the door and I closed the door behind me feeling the morning sun on my skin and my heart began to smile. Getting into the car Fritz (my driver) and I had joyful conversation the whole way to work. He had a Timmy's coffee and a carrot muffin waiting for me as he always does. His soothing voice wished me a good day as I got out of the car.

I look forward to a day of challenges, wonderful collegues whom I will listen to all day, laughing and sharing with me all of their weekends. Grissel about her new house, Olga about her dreams of decorating her kitchen, Rose laughing about her beautiful little daughter Melina. How good does it get.

I will then get home to my wonderful children and listen to their days activities...the good, the bad and the ugly. I will kiss my wonderful grandsons Steven and Michael and basque in their hugs and siliva filled kisses which only a grandmother can love.

Then I'll return to my empty bed......but who cares....because tomorrow I will get up to another wonderful day filled with love, family and friends. Can it get any better.....?

And Gratefully I Follow

Swimming in the essence of your aura

I fall on bent knees

And worship just the thought of you,

For it is this thought

That has kept me going

Through endless trials

And countless rocky journeys

And seemingly no win situations.

I pull my stregnth from yours

And gain power from the knowledge

That you are there with me always,

Walking by my side and facing

Each of my battles with me.

And when it seems fruitless to try any longer

I think of you and my faith is restored.

I regain my power, my will and my need to go on

And I remember that you help those

Who help themselves.

I scorn my weakness

In the rememberance of your stregnth

And I begin to walk again.

Only now I do so in your shadow

for you have taken the lead.

How Fortunate I Am

Strange, no matter how sad or frustrated we feel when we wake up, the moment we walk out the door and feel the warm embrace of the sun our hearts suddenly smile. We take that deep breath and we're ready to face the day. Our wake up mood gets left behind as we close the door on it and begin our day.

I woke up thinking of my Dad's funeral tomorrow, missing him terribly. Then my thoughts strayed to my friends JG and his wife J.. who just had to terminate a six month pregnancy because of complications and my heart swelled with grief for them and for their unborn child who would never be given a chance at life, because it could never have a normal life according to all the specialists. I then realized how fortunate I truly am and once that sun embraced me and comforted me I let out a breath of relief. If feel selfish for doing so, yet I can't control it.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not smiling and laughing histerically...but I'm at peace within. The frustration and sadness I woke up with has lifted and has been replaced with acceptance and the knowledge that life goes on and we don't do any good to anyone by carrying that negativity around. If a smile goes a long way, then I'm praying that one of my smiles can bring the same peace to someone that the sun has brought me today.

I looked at a very powerful picture this morning. It was one of Kevin Carters Pulitzer prize photographs taken in 1994 during the Sudan Famine. It's a tiny child crouched and trying to crawl to the food bank, which is a kilometer away. There's a vulture in the back ground just waitng for the child to die so that he can feast on the tiny mound of skin and bones. Once again, I realized how very fortunate I am and as Kevin Carter said in his journal that day "I will never again let my food go to waste, no matter how full I am, I will eat it." Kevin comitted suicide about 3 months later due to depression.

I reflect over tiny portions of my life and realize that no matter how bad certain things were, I was never as unfortunate as my friends JG and J.., Kevin Carter or that beautiful little child who's tiny corpse eventually got devoured by the vulture. I also came to the realization that there's nothing for me to truly complain about. Life is filled with tribulations, some big and some small yet if we think about it even our big ones seem miniscule in comparrison to so many others. Again, how blessed I've been and how fortunate I am....